TMI Alert: Socks before Fishnets

25 Mardi Gras Costume Tips from a Toe

After 10+ years as a Camel Toe Lady Stepper, I've learned a lot about Carnival costuming for optimal WOW and comfort.

Read on, loves....

If you do only one thing to make your Mardi Gras costume comfy: trim your toenails.

Fishnets

  1. You get what you pay for. Capezio.
  2. Socks * first, then fishnets. Your little piggies will thank you.
  3. Fishnets and sequins make for a tangled bitch when getting yourself back together after the loo.
  4. Snip vertical cuts in the waistband. Just do it.
  5. Nude fishnets make for miraculous legs.

* SmartWool socks are my personal fav. They have a lot of cush your feet will never feel slimy-hot .  Don't be a dummy and wear cotton.

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Wigs

  1. Wig caps can go suck it. You may thank me now.
  2. Long hair (or wigs) will get tangled in sequins.
  3. Is it hot out? Is it cold? Wigs can keep you warm, but damn those muthas don't breathe.
  4. Sew your hat to your wig.
  5. WASH YOUR WIG in shampoo and drip dry.

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Weather

  1. You will sweat. I don’t care how freaking cold it is. Silk T's are a great layer.
  2. You will freeze. Get a Walmart CHEAP snuggly sumthin' for when it's chilly and to ditch later. 
  3. You might get wet. Go back inside. You worked too hard to look this cute to mess it all up now.
  4. Wear sunscreen, especially if you're showing parts not used to being shown.
  5. Big false eyelashes worn with funky sunglasses are asking for trouble. Choose.

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The Loo

  1. This is where all those layers, feathers, sequins and what-not become a VERY BIG DEAL. 
  2. Do the ol' pull aside trick.
  3. Cut the crotch seam of your tights. Yep, you read that right.
  4. Ignore the MEN's or WOMEN's sign.
  5. DO NOT SIT DOWN.

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Makeup

  1. Glitter Lips: Apply a creamy lipstick. PRESS glitter into lipstick. Bam.
  2. If you suck at applying false eyelashes, plan an extra hour to wrestle with them.
  3. Use an open bobby pin to apply a thin line of glue to the long edge of the lash. Let it dry for a minute before sticking them on.
  4. False eyelashes go on last...after all of your other eye makeup EXCEPT mascara. That's very last. 
  5. Big feathery eyelashes suck when it's windy or with wigs with bangs.

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Etc.

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  1. Eat before getting dressed. You'll be running late.
  2. Use a straw to drink.
  3. Jello-shots will mess up your lipstick.
  4. Cut off the fingertip of the pointer and thumb of gloves to allow easy cell  phone use.
  5. Don't be too proud to carry a mini fanny pack with safety pins, bobby pins, extra glitter & lipstick.

You're welcome!

P.S. Stock up on Gatorade.

P.P.S. You'd be amazed the amount of crap you can stick in your bra and legs of your boots. 

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